Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
