awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
