He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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