OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
