When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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