Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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