I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
