I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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