We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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