I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
