Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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