My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
