I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
