Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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