We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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