no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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