Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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