My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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