We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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