Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
