Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
