easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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