she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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