he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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