I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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