I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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