i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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