Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
last night I used snow as a chaser
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
