Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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