4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
