Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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