So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
