she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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