used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
