watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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