Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
