Need sex. Gaining weight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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