I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
