Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A+ Viking dick
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