I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
