i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
