Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
