Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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