I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
