you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
