He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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