Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
