Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i dont even know how to be here
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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