miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
