The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Enjoy the penises
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
