my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
