thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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