just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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