There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
