Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
