Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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