Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
