just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
