I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize