Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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