You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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