summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
